Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I will not bend nor break

I am a take it or leave it person.  I tell what is on my mind and don't put up with any nonsense.  I was not always this way.  I was a doormat and abused by my first serious relationship.  I was young and dumb.  Yes, we have all heard that before.  I was young and in love, with those blinders on.

It was only one time I told myself, he didn't mean it, I didn't even show any signs of it, other than my heart was breaking.  Yes, as you can easy figure I was abused by my boyfriend.  He isolated me from everyone that loved me and tried to tear me down.  He thought he was winning, but I am a very strong person.

I took almost 6 months of abuse and finally had enough.  One day he came home and thought I was a nice punching bag like always, but I had a different plan.  I picked up his rifle and hit him over the head with it, breaking the scope on top of the rifle into his forehead.  I was immediately removed from my body.  I was not in front of him, I was hovering above.  It was truly an outer body experience.

I lifted this "man" up by his neck and was putting his head through the trailer walls he had imprisoned me in.  I was breaking myself out!  I felt so great, so "pumped" up.  He fled across the street to call the police on me and call my parents.  He told my mom, "You better come get your daughter before the law does."

My Mom and Dad made it before the Sheriff did.  They immediately went into combative mode and were helping me pack my things, since when they pulled up, half of my belongings were being thrown out of the house.  I took my digs though, I kicked his tail every time he threw something into the yard, I even made him fall over the edge of the steps into the lawn.  I had, had enough, I was no one's punching bag and was going to show him a lesson to not to mess with the bull.

When the Sheriff arrived he was pleading his case to the Sheriff, which he didn't know had known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper.  Yes, the Sheriff had seen me grow into the woman before him and sympathized with my situation of putting my foot down and not taking his crap anymore.  He told my abuser that he could file a police report, but be prepared to explain why I went off on him, and I was more than likely defending myself.

Looking back, I was doing more than defending myself, I was proving I was worthy of being treated like a human being!  I was a wonderful person that had been abused and made to feel I was worthless and deserved what I got!

I was only 17 when this happened to me and have made sure to not put up with the bull ever since!  I speak my mind and do not allow myself to be a doormat to anyone.